our own trip to Holland

Today I was startled by an overwhelming out pour of sympathy. I for the first time ever posted publicly about my daughter's diagnosis. I was surprised by the reaction and it took a while to digest it actually. I was appreciative for the support and not wanting to be disrespectful toward those who obviously care about us but it never occurred to me to feel sorry or that others might feel sorry for us. We have been living with a different normal for almost 2 years, this diagnosis wasn't a surprise but a blessing. Knowing what is affecting our lives gives us the tools to serve her better, it's covered by insurance where as the term "developmental delay" is not covered. Faith has hypotonic cerebral palsy. She is beautiful and wonderful the way she is, she doesn't need to be fixed. There was a time when she was brand new when I grieved the lost plans I had for her. Occasionally I still feel a sting when we encounter a new hurdle or when those days at the doctors get really long. I'm not sad about our daughters extra needs, as a mom I see extra hardship for her and at times I am pained for her but overall I feel blessed. As an advocate I feel excited to have been trusted with such a precious gift. Faith doesn't need sympathy; she needs to be embraced and empowered. Thank you for those who care and who maybe don't know what to say, above all thank you. Please use us as an opportunity to learn if you haven't been close to a family with special needs. Please know that we have our ups and downs and so far more ups than downs and we want to celebrate and share all we have been blessed with.

Faith's developmental therapist recommended an essay written back in 1987. I felt like it is an accurate and well written piece.

Welcome to Holland

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to imagine how it would feel.
It is like this...

When you're going to have a baby, it is like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guidebooks and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The Gondolas of Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It is all very exciting.

After months of anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bag and off you go. Several hours later the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, 'Welcome to Holland'. 'Holland? ' you say. 'What do you mean Holland? I signed up for Italy! ! ! I am supposed to be in Italy. All my life I have dreamed of going to Italy! '.

But there has been a change in flight plan, they have landed in Holland and there you must stay. The important thing is that they have not taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It is just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guidebooks. And you must learn a new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met before. It is just a different place. It's slower paced than Italy. It's less flashy than Italy. But after you have been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills, Holland has tulips, and Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy and they are all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life you will say, 'Yes, that is where I was supposed to go, That's where I had planned'.

And the pain of that will never, ever go away, because the loss of that dream is a very significant loss, but if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't go to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things about Holland. 

Written by Emily Perl Kingsley (in 1987) 

How to capture pictures from online and put them onto your facebook

1- Pull up the picture you want to save and RIGHT CLICK it this will bring up a menu and you will go down and click on "Save image as"

2- a window will pop up and you must chose where you want to save your pictures. On the left hand side of that window there are lists of different places in your computer. I usually click on "my pictures" and save it in that folder. You can check where your picture is saved at by looking at the top op the window and seeing what it says in the location bar. You should make a note of what folder it says it's in because that's where you will find it when you go back later to upload it or use it.

See how I have the mouse over the place that says "pictures" but the top still says downloads?  I haven't clicked on the picture folder yet .

Now that top bar says pictures at the top! That's how you know where  to find your photos. 

 3- Click save

Congrats! you have now saved your picture to your computer!!!!

-----Now, to add a picture to your facebook----
1- Go to your facebook and you have to go into the album you want your pictures in or if you don't have an album yet then just keep going without; either way this step is the same.
Click add photos

2- You have to to the folder that you saved your picture to and select it

See how I went back and clicked on the pictures folder?

And now I'm double clicking on the picture I want to upload.

 It will look like this after you select your picture

When its uploaded you can add a comment or caption to your picture

Then you need to tell it to post you photo

You have now (hopefully) successfully posted a picture to Facebook!!!!

Confessions of a Wannabe Runner ~ Part 2

Well, the running season has come and gone. I’m one week out from my last run and FINALLY able to walk down the stair without wincing! What a journey it was!!!
To my sponsors, Thank You.
For all the encouragement from everyone, Thank You.
To my wonderful husband who devoted as many Saturday mornings to my training as I did, Thank You!

I have said and done things in the last 6 months that I never would have imagined… all good things J Where do I start? In my last running blog I left off with sponsorship so I guess I will start there. Our team raised over $90,000! I raised about $210. My $210 isn’t much compared to the whole total but I was thinking about it and if even half the team had this attitude and didn’t run then it wouldn’t be nearly as incredible. We are a team, we ran as a team, we got up early, we sweated, we worked, we ran, we lost toe nails, we got injured, we smiled, we encouraged each other, and we made a difference. In India there is a whole new generation of people who are seeking medication, food, shelter, and love. This is going to go a long way; this is the difference between life and immediate death for someone.
A lot of people have made comments about why don’t we help people in our own country, all have been respectful. That’s a good question and the honest answer is that I don’t know. It’s a God thing. God told our pastor to go to India. He did. The ministry has been blessed. God told our Heaven’s Gate leader to move and make a difference and she did and a few years later (maybe 5?) the team has added 120+ people and it has been blessed. I truthfully don’t know why God didn’t tell us to run for our own country but I do know that this is what it is and it has been blessed and it’s saving lives. I know that our church and all of the people involved in Heaven’s Gate also serve our local community a great deal and our heart is just to serve anyone in need no matter where they live. I don’t know why or how it works but I have seen the results and respectfully, I don’t need to question it.

-Back to the running adventures-

If I can do it, anyone can do it. Running is the BEST attitude adjuster. Truthfully I hate to run and that’s why I love it so much. It is SO hard for me to move like that and when I’m running the worst of my attitude comes out and then I keep running and I put my attitude into it and when I’m done, it’s like starting with a clean slate. I can cry, I can yell (yes I’ve yelled during my runs), I can be angry, and when it’s all said and done I can lift my hands and praise God. I can’t give up physically so it forces me to give up everything else I might be struggling with and it’s humbling. To be broken and to keep going and to finish in spite of it all is just the most literal illustration of my relationship with God.
I’m not physically broken; actually since I started running I have had very few auto-immune symptoms. I will admit that lately I feel physically broken but running 52.4 miles in a 5 week time span will do that to just about anyone. It’s all good! But I have shocking news;
… wait for it….
I AM A STRONG WILLED HUMAN BEING!
…and I don’t always say or do or think the right things. I am a broken, judgmental, negative, angry, sad person sometimes. –Not all the time… but sometimes- My mental journey takes about 13 miles and that last .1 miles is wonderful. It goes a little like this:
Mile 1-3: OUCH! It’s all about my body objecting
Mile 3-5: I start thinking too much… I might even cry.
Mile 5-8.5: I’m still in deep thought but I’m comfy. A nice 8 mile run is good for you.
Mile 9-11: I get angry and I want to be done but there’s not really any other way to get home and my attitude isn’t fully overhauled yet.
Mile 12-13: I hurt. I’m tired. I’m calm. I surrender.
Mile 13.1: My team was so amazing, it’s hard not to run harder because there is an amazing group of people cheering for you and there is an describable joy in having finished and been overhauled. It’s a happy cry.

 

It sounds hokey but that’s my story and I’m sticking to it. I needed this as much as the kids in India need food, shelter, medicine, and a family. I was able to build up amazing friendships during training and in our driving to our out of town events. I got to see God work in the whole mission and I’m even praying about playing some sort of role in further foreign missions. I’m selfish though because my favorite part was the healing I got. We have had so many losses this year and by far the hardest for me was letting go of my Nana. I still struggle but I think I would have gone out of my mind if I hadn’t been running. There were miles when all I could do was cry and yell. There were times when I wanted to give up. But there were sweet moments when in spite of it all I just wanted to praise God. I am so blessed and even though some of the things I go through are hard for me, I am not alone and I am sure not too bad off. Running keeps me grounded and truly humbles me. I have found that when I can be humble I usually find peace.

I haven’t decided if I’m running next year, I’m leaning toward yes but I haven’t made a decision. I think a big part of the equation will be my leg injury. I got injured in the 1^st run and I kept going and kept going and now it’s still pretty tender. I need to figure it out and get healed up, unfortunately for the time being there will not be any running until I figure that part out. God willing though next year I will feel led and be able to go for it again.

 

And for the record my official times were as follows:

 Run for the Hills- 3hrs 15min

City of Tree 1/2 marathon- 3hrs 7min
Rush creek Stampede- 3hrs 30min
Run for Heaven's Gate- 3hrs 8 min