What it's like....

I have been close to and working for individuals affected by special needs since the day I laid eyes on one of my close friends back in the 2nd grade. It has been my undying passion and it is my calling to educate the community, embrace this wonderful population, and empower them to be the best they can be without the need to "fix it".
I have gotten to know and love many families over the years, I'm still in touch with a few of them and I will value and admire every single one of those sweet families forever. I have been in many different spots in this field; I've been the therapist, the care provider, the teacher, and the paraprofessional. having been a care provider I have had the opportunity to be close to the family supporting the student with exceptional needs and I've seen their point of view and i've been that advocate along side them. But there is one thing I have never done or even realized I was missing... until now.

Many of you know that our baby girl, Faith has struggled to meet her milestones. This is new ground for new because as a professional I never had seen where it all started. I had never felt what it feels like as a mother to watch your baby march to their own drum and to face all the anti-fix it speeches I have given through the years. I wanted to write this because not to many people share these feelings or are aware of how it feels and it is truely a valuable tool for all you people in my field. Faith doesn't have a diagnosis and she still has a very good chance of growing out of her delays but the reality is that right here, right now my baby has delays and she is not where her peers are in her physical developmental milestones. I don't know what her future holds but I do know that no matter what, I have this experiance to draw from. Even if we were to wake up tomorrow and she suddenly started rolling over and eating baby food and putting weight on her arms and legs I will still have these feelings right now to put in my proverbial tool box.

So what are these feelings you ask? I feel encouraged everytime Faith does something new. I feel warm and gushy, everytime she looks at me when I feed her because in many ways she is still like a newborn baby. I feel torn sometimes and heart broken sometimes. I feel like a hypocrite sometimes because as strongly as I feel that people don't need to be cured or fixed; I have this instinct inside of me that drives me to do everything I can for my baby. I can't seem to convince this instinct sometimes that it's ok for her to keep her own beat. I feel frustrated sometimes even though she is all smiles. I see babies her age who do all these things and some of them are very advanced and I admit that I envy that sometimes. I feel heart broken sometimes. I feel sad and mad sometimes. I feel determined all the time. My one goal for all of my children is that they grow up to be God loving people who feel fulfilled... whatever that might mean to them. My biggest fear I guess for them is that they will be hurt or not heard or taken advantage of. Did you know that 66% of disabled adults feel like they don't have a voice and are not happy? That's only the ones who have the ability to communicate to participate in that poll. That is a scary thing to think of as a mom of a kid with an uncertain future. I know deep down and have been reassured many times that no matter what happens she will be ok. "ok" may not be what anyone imagines but she'll be ok none the less and I hear it and I know it but it doesn't invalidate moments like these.
Like I said, at the very least I know that I can use this as a professional in this field. I can give support as a mom who has "been there", I can show compassion and advocate with a new passion. I don't know what to do with all this as a mom but that in itself is an amazing thing to draw from later. I am SO SO thankful to have the support and encouragement that we get on a regular basis from friends and family. I am so thankful for where I've been in my skill set that gives me a place to escape to when I'm at the end of my rope as a mom. I'm so thankful for my husband who doesn't see what I see when I see things missing from Faith's skill set. He sees his beautiful daughter who is wonderful just the way she is. He sees a little girl who seems like she gets to stay tiny longer than he remembers the others doing.
In two days Faith will be 6 months old. I have been told not to compare her to her brothers or anyone else and I know why. At this age they were sitting up and they rolled around everywhere and they even got up on all fours and rocked back and forth. It can be discouraging and make you lose sight of celebrating Faith own unique milestones when you compare her. I struggle with that sometimes... I struggle to appreciate her just the way she is sometimes. I struggle to celebrate what she does and to not dwell on what she can't do yet. I know that every parent who has been in my shoes has struggled here and there with these same things.
It's kind of funny; even though I'm being honest about how it feels to be a parent (new to this game as I am) of a child who is exceptional, if some well intentioned person ever tried to tell me that she is anything but perfect I would rip them to shreds and give them a new education about how it's ok to be different and that she's beautiful and perfect just the way she is. I might struggle with how combine my own instincts with my beliefs but I know that she truely is perfect the way that she is even if she isn't like everyone else.

Growing up

Do you ever have one of those days?

Some days it seems like the only thing we do is child training.
We actually had a very good morning. We went to the park in the spur of the moment and joined a group of friends. We had a wonderful time!

This afternoon is a different story and it seems that no matter what I do Davin will not lay down for more than 10 minutes of quiet time. It's been a 2 hour battle! Now that it has been made into a full blown battle I can't very well back down but I can re-think my technique in the future. A timer? More prep work before rest time?

The only problem is that this isn't just a rest time battle. This is my baby boy entering his 3s. Whoever coined the phrase "terrible twos" never spent much time with a 3 year old. If he's anything like Cole though I can be reassured in the fact that our training challenges will evolve when he turns 4.
4 year olds are like mini teenagers. Cole seems to be more obedient in the basic ways which is encouraging but he has more drama and is discovering new fears that he didn't have before.

When they were babies I couldn't wait to see their new stages and discoveries. Some days like today though it's everything I can do to hang on to that attitude. It's so easy to get caught up in the moment and you won't know what they will remember.
For example; I had a good childhood and I'm sure that my dad and I had more good times than bad. The few memories I have of being the boys' ages though are being mostly of being spanked or yelled. Now, my dad is a good dad and we are close so I know that I wasn't punished excessively but that's what stuck with me. I don't want that for my kids but I admit that I struggle to remember that on days like today.

Kids are a lot of work and some days it feels like all you do is discipline them. rumor has it that it you put the work in now while they are little they will be more receptive to guidance and instruction later. We do this because if we can't teach them to hear our voice then how can we ever expect them to hear God? These are my thoughts for the day and as I train up my children and they help me refine my own imperfections in my attitude I think we will be reading the story of Samuel at bed time.

potty training- the final frontier

I honestly don't remember much about my own potty training. I remember having 2 accidents and as I recall; I had an accident because I either didn't realize I had to go until the last minute or there wasn't a chance to go and I couldn't hold it. I don't know how it feels to be a little boy but I do my best to make this a simple process.

BUT DAVIN.....

Good gracious son, lets get our potty on already!
He has made some progress, he will go on command if you ask him. That doesn't mean however that he won't go in between. He also has never gone #2 in the potty... ever!
I thought perhaps if I made his diapers more uncomfy by swtiching to cloth then he would be more motivated but as it turns out he could care less and I really hate cleaning toddler cloth diapers. I will be investing in a diaper sprayer when Faith gets to be that big.
I have tried rewards and negative reinforcement! I have been frustraited and patient. Davin is almost 3 years old and he is VERY VERY ready but in his mind he just isn't ready. He wants to be big and to do this but he just lacks the drive to follow through with it. I hope this isn't a life pattern. I recently told him he couldn't turn 3 until he is potty trained. He says he likes to be 2. Nice huh?
Yes, I do realize that he has all the tools and will just do it when he is ready. It is frustraiting on my part to know that he knows how but is in fact CHOOSING not to do this!!!
Just today he asked to wear underwear and we talked about how he needs to potty in the toilet and he understood me. A little later I asked him to sit on the potty and he refused. Instead of the battle I decided to give him 5 minutes and then make him go and try. In those 5 short minutes he had an accident. I had asked to go and I feel like he chose to have an accident! Who does that?!?!?!?! As a mom who has never actually had to potty train a child (since cole potty trained himself) I am out of ideas and I'm having to seriously pray about my own attitude in this matter because I'm out of tolerance in some cases as well.

One day at a time

Yesterday my baby was 9 weeks old and it was a personal milestone for me. I know that breast is best and priviously I was able to breastfeed Cole for 6 weeks and Davin for 8 weeks. My goal each time is to do my best and beat my previous time.
It has been a struggle for me honestly. I'm not sure why but after a time I previously have hit a rut and then I lost my supply. In spite of my best efforts and all those herbal helpers I always ended up giving in and switching to formula. When I switched to formula with Davin it was after confirming that he was only getting about 1/2 ounce of milk from me in each feeding.
After 9 weeks I am happy to say that I have a chubby well fed baby and all in all we have been very successful so far!

Here are some things I have learned that might help others who struggle in this area.

• WATER!!!!- like gallons of water. I have to drink massive quantities of water to keep my supply up. Personally I think I drink more than the average breastfeeding mom but who knows.
• RELAX- I don't worry about how much she's getting or how long she feeds as much as I did with the boys. She is gaining weight, she's satisfied, and she feeds as long as she wants to. Seriously I think I jinxed myself by being so meticulous. 
• "JUST KEEP SWIMMING"- LOL like Dorey on Finding Nemo; just keep swimming! I have so scared the first time I had to give Faith a bottle because she went through a growth spurt and my supply hadn't caught up. She was inconsolable and I felt like I was repeating history all over again. I thawed out some milk I had stored up and I made Aaron feed her because I don't want her to associate me with a bottle at all. She had her first bottle about a week and a half ago. It's not a nightly thing but every so often she will be SO hungry and there simply isn't anything I can do. The key I think is to just move on. Pump while the baby is eating that way you're stimulating your supply but the baby is getting fed too. They also make contraptions that fit on you and have a little tube so the baby thinks she is feeding and she's stimulating you to make more but the milk is coming from a bottle so the baby is getting fed. I might try to track one of these things down.

These are things that have helped me to know but everyone is different. Not all women will give in and feed their baby. I have seen many women who grin and bear it and work through those difficult nights when their supply comes up short. I know lots of gals who have never had that problem. Take what you can use here and throw away the rest. The biggest thing I have learned in this process is that everyone is so different and all the well meaning advice and wonderful counsel in the world didn't always help me. It took 3 kids and I had to make things come together on my own. There was no magical solution; it is what it is. Faith uses a pacifier and has had a bottle and does very well. I'm convinced that those things really played a big part in my lack of success with the boys. She will feed anywhere in just about any position while the boys were very picky. Part of these differences I'm sure was my own hesitation and anxiety so relax, drink a couple gallons of water and do your best!

I did find a link to a page with a product like what I described before if you're interested.
If you search for it on google try the term Lactation Aid versus breastfeeding aids because you will get a whole lot of info on breastfeeding and HIV/AIDS.

cloth wipes... am I crazy?

I use cloth diapers to save money. I could claim I'm in it for the betterment of my baby and the environment too but it really all just boils down to money. There are some pitfalls to cloth diapers. I don't mind the laundry, I don't mind the couple extra minutes it takes for each diaper change, I don't mind the bulky nature of cloth either. In fact I think the puffy diaper butt is kind of cute :-)
The thing I hate is the wipes! I hate how I have to pick out the wipes and touch the poo all over again and if I don't get them all then they leave white wispy stuff all over my cloth diapers. Grrrrrr!!!
I had thought of clothe wipes when I invested in cloth diapers and at first I was kind of grossed out by it. Why would I want to wash and reuse not only my diapers but my wipes too?!?! Plus, have you seen what people charge for the courtesy of reusing your wipes. Cloth wipes are like $12+ per dozen! Holy cow! Seriously?!?!
Well, last week after shelling out another $10 just for wipes for the 8th week in a row I decided that I'm tired of essentially putting poop on money and throwing it away.
Now before you really think I have gone off the deep end please know that there are things I will not do and big kid poop is one of those things. Davin poops once a day and I do not plan to reuse anything associated with that daily ritual. He wears disposable diapers over nap time which is when he usually gets stinky and I plan to use disposable wipes in that scenario as well. Newborn baby poop though is really no big deal and I have no problem with it. I'm just tired of touching it twice when it comes to having to sift through the dirty cloth diaper to fish out the wipes to throw them away.
I don't know about you  but I'm a bit short on disposable income both for disposable wipes and investing in cloth. Then I had an idea; a crafty idea!

I started looking at these wipes as closely as online pictures would let me. They are made of flannel. Hmmmm... What are receiving blankets made of? Flannel! We have a TON of receiving blankets and there are a few that really aren't my favorite. We have way more than Faith ever goes through in a week. You see where I'm going with this....
Step one:

Sacrifice some blankets and scrap cloth. I kind of eye balled the size using the bottom of my wipe box and I made them square. Some are lopsided but who cares? Seriously, it's going to wipe my baby's butt it doesn't have to be perfect; it just needs to be sturdy.

Step two:
I used a zigzag stitch and doubled my rectangular cutouts (making them square) because I noticed that a lot of the flannel wipes you buy are in fact 2 ply. I stitched around the edges and then just once diagonally across so it will hold its shape after I wash them. I don't want them to get all bunched up in the dryer.

So this is my finished product. I used 2 blankets and some random flannel scraps I had stashed in my fabric drawer. I ended up with 30 cloth wipes, from what I gathered most people do well with 2 dozen wipes.

So how do I like using cloth wipes?
I love my cloth wipes. I can clean a mess with 1 wipe that it would normally take me 3 disposable. The wipes are super soft and the best thing of all is that I can throw the whole bundle into the laundry bucket and not worry about it! For me if you're using cloth diapers it is MORE convenient to use cloth wipes as well.

There are two ways to use them; the wet method and the dry method. I don't have a wipe warmer for the wet method and I don't like the idea of having to be vigilant because your wipes could start to grow mold. I have read if you use the wet method you should use your wipes with in 48 hours and clean out your container. I use the dry method for now and I keep my wipes in an old wipe container and I have a little water bottle with some water. I did add a TINY bit of baby lotion to my water because it seemed like a good idea at the time and it smells nice. I squirt a wipe or two with water prior to cleaning off the baby as I need to. Some people squirt the baby and use a spray bottle. Some people just run to the sink and wet them down. I haven't quite settled on a storage and usage method yet I don't think. If I got a hold of a wipe warmer I would probably give the wet method a try, I might put maybe 6 wipes in the box and try the cold wet method using only a few at a time because I seriously don't like the idea of mold.

Yup I know what you're thinking, I am putting way too much thought into this.
LOL
The truth is that I'm caught up on my chores and I'm having fun experimenting with different thing while I wait for our homeschooling curriculum to come in.

Potty Training adventures continue

I'm not pushing.
Davin is capable and willingly goes potty when asked... most of the time. He won't initiate it though.
I decided to try a different approach since he doesn't seem to mind if he's clean or dirty. (He knows i will change him sooner or later.)
I'm just so tired of buying diapers!!!! I bought him 2 diaper covers and put him in cloth. Maybe if the diapers are a whole lot less comfortable he will want to stay dry... maybe not but at least I will be saving money in the meantime.
Incentives don't work, pull ups are a joke, and he could care less if he succeeds or not. We have even pushed him a little with a bit of negative reinforcement and he doesn't seem to care. People assure me that he WILL potty train eventually but here's hoping I can jumpstart the process.

Any thoughts?

The truth about going into labor

THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO!!!!

If there are 1st time mom's reading this and curseing the ground I walk on I'm sorry to tell you but it's true.
I know this from previou spregnancies and had heard of things this time that I hadn't tried before so I did have some glimmers of hope.
I am almost 38 weeks this time and I really need to get my baby girl out! I'm not so much inpatient as I have a valid concern for avoiding another c-section. She's already pretty good size and last weekend when I went in to get checked out in the L&D unit her heart rate dropped when I had random contractions. If she gets too big then labor and delivery could be extra stressful which isn't good for her and her heart rate and definately not good for my prospects of haveing another successful VBAC. Grrr!

Here are a list of things I have tried now and in previous pregnancies:

• black cohosh- tried it with Davin & Cole
• raspberry leaf tea- Davin
• walking!!!- It's good for positioning and any exercise is better than none but it only gives me painful unproductive contractions
• dancing- tiring but fun! I have seen this work for others and I will continue my efforts in this arena.
• climbing- stairs, hills... good for positioning but not so helpful for me
• sex- fun but not helpful to me right now at least
• clary sage oil- nothing
• nipple stim- I'm getting a good stock of colostrum in the freezer but mo contractions
• yoga ball- great for positioning and as a comfort measure during labor but no amount of bouncing has helped me in any of my pregnancies
• squats- I got the baby to move down pretty nicely but I did them to early and she moved back up and I pulled something in my undercarriage. I will do these again once I can get a few regular contractions going.
• evening primrose oil- nothing!!!! not in any of my pregnancies has this worked
• accupressure- If I can get someone talented going on it I will get contractions but so far nothing has panned out
• castor oil- I tried I had such a fun night and all that night and yet I had no baby :-( midwife still recommends it though if I get desperate this time so I might choose to try it again here next week
• stripping of the membranes- yup we have done it and I lost my mucus plug but not much else. going to keep at it though, it can't hurt!
• pineapple- apparently you need at least 7 pineapples and those I have ever eaten is 1 whole one.
• spicey food- it only gives me heart burn, I really don't need more heart burn

Nothing works!!! Science says that the baby gives off chemicals which sigmnal the mother to deliver. they don't know the composition of the chemincals  or how and when and why it happens. obviously sometimes it doesn't happen for everyone. I might just be one of those people that has a stubborn body. Not even medical inducion worked for me the 1st time around. Cole's induction failed and he was delivered by c-section.

This is the reality of bringing children into the world. If I do find something that works I'll bee sure to shout it from the roof tops and if I go into labor within reasonable proximity of any of these "natural" induction techniques I will document it  and let you be the judge.

For now; wish me luck and labor:-)

Jurisdictions

I stole the term "jurisdictions" as an alternative to "chores" from 19 kids and counting. I like it better but no matter what you call it it all boils down something you are responsible for doing and you don't have to like it.

My boys are almost 4 and 2 years old. I have been putting off giving them chores because it simply hadn't occurred to me that they might be old enough to do things without it being more work for me. Yup; I'm lazy.
Let me share something with you.... Shhhhh! it's a secret! MY KIDS ARE HOOLIGANS!!!!!
I decided to give them chores because busy hands are hands that can't get into as much trouble.

What do you set up for chores for a 4 year old and a 2 year old? What can they  do? I thought about this a bit and I thought about what they can do... they can do alot when they put their little minds to it. How much effort and skill is put forth for every act of mischief that they seem to fill my life with these days? Here's what I know, I know that my kids can smear things which mean they can also wipes things clean (same action). I know they can tear stuff down which tells me that can pick things up to especially at the lengths they will go to get down whatever it is they want. I know they're fast little buggers too so all this slow poking around doesn't need to happen.

researched and asked around about chore charts and came up with something I like.

Here is what our chart looks like. I listed the kids' "jurisdictions" I put a space where they could stop and pick up later in case of school days or days when we have AM appointments. The top half need to be done in the morning no matter what!

Obviously my kids can't read yet so I have pictures which they mainly go off of. Next to each task there is a bit of Velcro. This is so they know where they are in this whole scheme of things and what needs to be done next. When they complete the task they move their little picture guy to the next task to show which task they are on.

The kids will keep these same jurisdictions until the beginning of each summer. Some people like to start with the new school year but I like summer because that gives us some leeway for adjustment. Since I'm starting this this whole project and it's like mid-spring I will see where we are at this time around the beginning of July and switch/add tasks if it seems appropriate.

... I'm already thinking I'm going to add setting the table and putting away silverware to Cole's and putting the dirty dishes in the sink after every meal for Davin.

Do they get an incentive for keeping up with their jurisdictions?

As of now- NO

The kids are pretty young so an allowance doesn't seem appropriate yet. Plus it takes many hands to keep a household running and it seems like contributions shouldn't be paid since these are what my mom always called "family duties". I have heard good arguments for an allowance though as well and we will probably revisit this topic later as a family.

The Chore Jar-

We have this jar and it contains thing the kids wouldn't normally do (wash walls, chairs cabinets, etc...) the kids can draw out of the chore jar if they want to earn the money to buy something that we don't normally buy for them and there isn't a holiday coming up. This works really well even as young as they are!

They also draw out of the chore jar and work for free as a consequence. Usually we get in trouble as a result of our own selfish actions and by drawing out of the chore jar they are given the opportunity to do something nice for someone else.

This is what out set up looks like and it's posted upstairs in the central area there by their room. Most of the morning chores are upstairs things and this is a central location anyway.

If they don't get the morning stuff done in a timely manner then we will skip something to catch up the time and so far we haven't had that problem but it worked for me growing up. I only went to school in my pajamas once.

For the later tasks the kids know and have experienced not being able to do what they want to do until these things get done and they have been awesome at keeping a positive attitude!

Our kids are still pretty young and we are new at a lot of these things. So far the chart has worked beautifully because the kids can see what is expected of them and there aren't any surprises and it keeps them busy. I feel like we have had less behavior issues since giving them responsibilities. We do still have our struggles but I think the frequency is much less and I feel more relaxed with the extra hands to help out!

Potty Training Derailed!

My first instinct was to stick with it and keep pushing gently but I'm seriously considering putting potty training on the back burner.

He's just not ready.

Davin is mature enough to do many things. He helps out with the laundry, he has some small chores, and is big enough to understand that if he wants a new toy he has to work for it. So why can he just not quite grasp this? He tells me when he's already gone potty and he strives for the positive reinforcement and the excitement of sitting on the potty.
Do we keep trying or am I going to scar my child for life? Honestly I could go either way but I would like to finish what we started. I'm having another baby which means 2+ more years of diapers so I'm not striving for the incentive of a diaper free life here.
We have not had 1 successful elimination in the potty from today and last night.
He has actually only ever done it once ever; it was like an out of control mini fire hose hit my bathroom.

I don't want to be one of those moms who has a 4 and a half year old who passed the ready stage and is now into manipulative and icky. Where is that fine line between "he'll do it when he's ready" and "my kid missed the boat and now I have to figure out what to do before he starts school"?

Most importantly I think here is the burning question in my mind: Why in centuries of childraising has no one gotten it right and written a book or why do parents not get some soft of a manual from God on the day their kids are born? Maybe parents would think they knew better than any manual or book and we would all be in the same place regardless.

Back to the topic at hand.... To potty train or not to potty train? That is the question.

I think I'm going to back off and keep playing Elmo's Potty Time. Either way I'm taking a leap but I think I know my son well enough to know when to re-introduce this and I know he's close but perhaps not quite ready.

Adventures in Potty Training

Davin is now entering a new stage in his life. In my opinion if a child is old enough to tell me that he needs his diaper changed then he's old enough to put it in the potty. Davin consistantly tells me when I need to change him and so begin our potty adventures. Armed with a brand new copy of Elmo's Potty Time, sesame street underwear, and pack of plastic pants I am bodly going where many moms have gone.

(For the record; Cole potty trained himself. One day he simply said he didn't want diapers and we made a reward chart and he never missed a beat.)

Davin insists that he is baby Davin, he is perfectly happy in diapers and says he doesn't need big boy underwear. Keeping in mind that it's bad to push a child too much in potty training I do feel like I need to be firm. Davin is excited to wear is new big boy Sesame Street underwear and he has used the potty before.

Here's our plan:
We have a potty chart which gives rewards in consistant intervals. It's a 3 week chart and each week brings a new a bigger reward.

Week 1- We stay home! Davin gets positive reinforcement EVERY TIME he uses the potty. He is only expected to stay dry while he is awake and will wear underwear only while we are at home and he is awake. He gets to mark each accident free day with a sticker at night. After 7 accident free days Davin gets a reward. He has decided to work toward his own baseball bat. 

Week 2- Davin is expected to stay dry at home AND if we go out. He will continue to recieve positive reinforcement everytime he uses the potty We will be wearing underwear and plastic pants at home and use pull ups while we are out and about. Davin loves hats and wants to work for a mariners hat this week.

Week 3- Underwear during all waking hours and pull ups at night and during nap. A reward will be given everytime he wakes up unsoiled and at the end of this last week we will be celebrating with a family trip to the zoo!

I really have never really had to "work" on potty training. I know that consistancy and praise go a long way and I would suppose that if we skip a step we would move up our rewards accordingly. For example if Davin stays dry every nap and night time while he's working on leaving the house and staying dry then maybe we could wrap it up a week early and hit the zoo in a new hat.

I will posts updates on the first day and then weekly there after.

For the record we tried to start tonight and it was a disaster- 3 pairs of underwear in 4 hours.

Houston we have a timing issue.

Does homemade = saving $$$?

In this case... YES!

Have you ever seen those cool swaddling wraps for babies?
I had a really cheap swaddling blanket when Cole was born and it was ok but the flaps were pretty short and he outgrew it quickly. I would have used the same blanket on Davin but he was WAY too long for the blanket itself and again the swaddling flaps were too short. When I worked in a daycare I saw one like the one I registered for this time, the baby loved it and it seemed better designed than the one I was able to afford at the time.

The one I registered for this time is $25 and they can run up around $40 depending on the material and the style. 

 I have tried to do a lot of homemade things and cut costs where I can. We have what we need but we don't have a lot (if any) extra income most days. My challenge has been to see what I can actually save on versus it being more or the same cost as if I had just bought it in the first place. The general answer I have found is that if you want to actually save money and you don't have any of the supplies you need to plan for your project.
Here are some things to keep in mind that I have found helpful:

• keep an eye out for sales and sign up for store coupons
• don't buy anything unless it's on sale if you can help it
• your inital creativity and excitment can cost extra- you can still have a cute project without letting yourself go overboard

For this project I heard about a huge sale at JoAnn's and I decided to check it out. McCalls patterns were only 99 cents this week! Although I didn't find a pattern for this project from McCalls I did allow my self to spend $3 on patterns I thought I could use in the future. I saved $26 by doing this! Remember: you're only saving if you actually use it so don't get carried away :-)
I found a featured section of fabric that was like $2/yard and even though they didn't have baby prints I limited myself to this rack and chose something else. I probably wouldn't have chosen this fabric if it hadn't been on sale but it is cute and in perspective it's only an experimental blanket. Not having a pattern or even a solid plan at the time I couldn't guarentee that this project was going to come together. I also decided to use a knit fabric for softness and stability. Knits were up to 50% off this week! Jersery knit would have been ideal in my mind but I found a comparable fabric for $2 less per yard so I went with that.

I bought 2 yards of each fabric. The total cost was $15. It could have easily run into the $20-$30 range if I hadn't picked thing that were on sale. When I got home I used a recieving blanket to give me an idea of how big I should make the body of the blanket and I kind of made the rest up as I went.

The project turned out really well! I will be adding it my list of baby gifts for people and possibly making another one for myself after Faith is born. I want to see if she actually likes to be swaddled and how much I use it. I also want to try out this one and see what needs to be fine-tuned before I make a second blanket.

So I saved a total of $10 + tax on this blanket by making it myself. I also have saved by making my own hair bows. I might be able to use the extra knit fabric from my blanket project to make a couple of sleepers for Faith since I was able to pick up the pattern for those for 99 cents!

Over the Top Baby trends

How do I feel about HUGE oversized hair accessories and frilly dresses?

Most of you know that I love them. If you knew me as a kid you might remember that I have always loved the over the top girls' fashions.
There are those in my life who for the life of them have never understood this love I have and that's ok. Some are betting that Faith will rip off her hair bows and ruffles the minutes she's old enough to do it and that's ok too!
I have 2 other children, their styles even though they are young are not always my style. I know that as soon as they start picking out their own clothes they develop preferences and favorite from what they have. I love little boys in overalls and my almost 4 year old absolutely HATES overalls. He doesn't like how they fit him and he doesn't care how cute they look. My 2 and a half year old has a thing for baseball caps. No one in our family wears many hats but for him it's something he just feels super good in. I don't know if it's a comfort thing or what but the kid always has a hat on and he shows strong preference toward baseball caps; you can't just give him any style of hat.
So yes, I do realize that my daughter is no exception to developing free will and her own sense of style. As long as she stays within our family modesty and morality standards I have no problem with what she chooses.

Here's the beautiful thing though; I have about 2.5 years give or take to do WHATEVER I want to her! After that I  can still influence what she wears and how she dresses because she still has to pick from what ever I have provided for her. I figure this gives me 2 years of free reign and 5-7 total years of influence and  wonderful over the top frilly clothes and accessories. Obviously Davin wears hats and Cole is rarely seen in overalls so I do recognize and respect my kids' preferences but I also know that they have picked up some of what I would hope for them and I figure on some of the same thing for my daughter.

I don't have all the answers and I am SO new to the world of little girls but I know what I like and for now that's good enough. My ruffly butt, huge hair bow, giant flower, colorful headband, cute hat tastes and preferences are here to stay.... at least until she's old enough to take them off  ;-)

Cloth Diapers- the HOW and WHY

Aside from the adorable, cute, bulky tush of a baby in cloth diapers why would someone put themselves through this process and how is it done in these modern times?

Why?

My own top reasons for using cloth (in no particular order) are as follows

1. It's cheaper- You save $2000-$2500 per child if you use cloth from birth through potty training. The saving depends on what brands of disposables you usually use and also how much you spend on your cloth diapering system.
2. It makes me feel better about myself- I'm not really very organic and super environmentally conscious but I do feel better about now throwing away all that extra trash. Anyone with kids can tell you how much more trash you have.
3. It seems better for the baby- I don't don't the science on it. Some will swear that all the chemicals in disposables are really horrible and maybe they are although common sense tells me that so many kids use the disposables and they seems fine. It just seems better to me to not have all those extra additives constantly on their skin for 2-3 years straight.
4. It's as easy as disposables- It all boils down to the work in the end. Can you handle it? I have found that once I knew how and had a routine down it really wasn't any more work than the disposables. You have to dump them in the washer and that's just as hard as taking out all that trash.

How do I do it?

Everyone has a different method. It seems like we all start out pretty similarly but with time and experience we all do it differently and that's ok. Take what I have to say and use what you can and throw the rest away... like anything else you read or hear.

There are 2 basic kinds of cloth diapers and in those 2 types there are tons of variations. You have prefolds and covers (more traditional) and there are covers and inserts (less bulky). I have only ever tried using prefolds and covers though did I just buy some FLIP inserts for on the go to use with our EconoBums.

There are 3 parts to cloth diapering that I guess would be the most helpful if you are considering it or just getting started.

• Supplies
  As I said there are many variations within each category of diaper systems. For the cover/prefold system I use the covers, prefolds, liners, and snappis are nice but not essential. No matter what you are going to want a wet bag for when you go out.
  I prefer the covers with the PUL (thin plastic) inner liner. These covers can be wiped out and reused unless you get a major soiled diaper. Yes, the diaper still breaths and no the plastic isn't on your baby's skin. Other cover might have microfiber or fleece or cotton on the inside but those are 1 use covers and you will need to buy more of them. The cost of diaper covers really can add up so I use this kind. I recently bought 6 diaper covers when I re-invested in a diaper system. I have gotten by with 4 in the past but I like the extra assurance of having enough. I found 1 size covers this time which is nice because I used fitted covers in the past. I liked the fitted covers but it was a repeating cost every time Davin outgrew them and I couldn't afford to keep up.
  I use prefolds which is just a fancy word for a really nice cushy bit of cloth that your baby does it's business in. It's slightly rectangular usually has multiple layers and there are a few different kinds. You can buy them from Gerber in the store or you can buy them as part of a system or order the sized ones online. Mine came as part of my diaper system.
  I use diaper liners which ties into clean up. The liners are a bit thinner and stronger than toilet paper. You put one on between your baby and the prefold and it lets liquid through but catches solids. When you change the baby flush the liner.
• Clean-UpI just mentioned diaper liners. Your other option is a diaper sprayer. It attaches to your toilet uses the water from the same pipes and you just spray off the diaper before you throw it into your pail. Speaking of a diaper pail, you're going to need one. Again, there are a lot of ways to utilize it. I have used pail liners (plastic bags) and those are ok. I have found it just as easy to put some water with a bit of pre-wash in my pail and simply put the diaper in it. At the end of the day you dump the whole mess into the washer. My pre-wash is made for cloth diapers (though I don't know if it's made for soaking) but it has anti-microbial stuff, odor stuff, and fights stains and all that. Before I found the pre-wash I used just a small amount of detergent and followed the pre-soaking instructions on the soap box. I put the diapers in the wash before I went to bed and dry them in the morning. No biggie. Don't put your covers in the dryer!!!
• TechniqueI debated even talking about technique but then I read a review for some cloth diapers on BabiesR'Us.com and some lady really had no clue and had posted a rant about not having any leg holes so maybe I have too much faith in the ability of people to just figure it out.
  -Lay out everything you need. before you change your baby. Get your prefold all situated at this time and a new cover ready if you need one. To prepare your prefold simply fold it in thirds into itself and put a liner on top. If you're not using any snappis of anything you might want to put the prefold into the cover in advance as well. With practice you will get used to how you roll. Take the old diaper off and clan up the baby, flush what you need to and put the soiled diaper in your pail. Put the prefold into the cover at this point and under your baby. Pull the corners of the prefold out from under your baby but don't undo how you folded it in thirds. Bring up the front and pull out those corners a bit. if the prefold is too long just fold over the extra at this time as smooth as you can and tuck either side around your baby. Bring those back corners out and around, either use your snappi to secure it or hold them in place while you close up the diaper cover. Now that you have your diaper cover closed, tuck away any of the prefold that might be showing especially in the back and around the legs. now you're done! If it sounds like a lot it's just becaus eI broke it down step-by-step. -Try mentally telling someone how to change a disposable step-by-step and you will see what I mean.  

I hope this helps, it's a lot easier to show someone rather than write it all out but I have been asked by SO many people and I see a lot of questions about it on some of pregnancy discussion boards that I cruise once in a while so I thought is might be worth blogging.

The New Strong-Willed Child

I thought I would post on this subject since I am at the beginning of a new learning curve in this journey.
I recently started read Dr. James Dobson's The New Strong Willed Child. It is a revised version of the 30 year old classic that many parents have come to know and love. In the last 30 years as you can imagine there have been developments in what we know about child development and of course Dr. Dobson has seen some things work more than other thus he decided to revise the book.

Let me start by sharing about my own strong-willed prince here at home. He has driven me to tears on many occasions which may surprise some who remember what I was like as a child. I only have 1 friend who has a child who has a comparable strength of will.
Cole is an amazing, smart, discerning, honest, thoughtful boy. He also has an iron clad will that I would love to break through with out breaking his spirit. I have questioned so many times; is he normal, does he need testing, behavior modification? Am I doing something wrong? Am I a bad mom? I don't recall dropping him on his head as a baby but sometimes I wish I had that to blame. He isn't bad but he will give you a run for your money and there doesn't seem to be any reason for it.

I am now on chapter 4 of this new book. Let me tell you that it is EXTREMELY validating! I may mistakes as much as any parent but it is really great to know that Cole's struggles are not a direct result of some critical missed parenting error. How do I know what this book says to be true? The book is very helpful in giving us some insight as far as what life might look like from the point of view of one of these children. As I read some of these pearls of insight it all sounded strangely familiar and even comfortable. Yes, I was also a very strong-willed child. I was the kid who when I threatened to run away and my parents said "go ahead" it never occurred to me not to follow through with my threat. I made it to Nana's house (about 5 miles) at the age of 6 or 7.
Let me please share some bit of insight to you who perhaps see but can't understand our struggles with Cole and for those of you with a child just like Cole and maybe this will give you some encouragement. Let me remind you that I had forgotten and have been reminded and can confirm that as a strong-willed child this is indeed the case. These children do not have a behavioral problem, it simply does not occur to them to not challenge anything they are told. Punishment is really hard because it isn't punishment from his point of view; it's just another challenge. Challenges are fun, this isn't an epic battle for Cole like it might be for me; it's like letting a wild horse stretch it's legs for him. Cole sees everything in a very black and white fashion and it makes sense to him and he can't possibly understand why everyone wouldn't see it his way and he WILL enforce it if challenged. As you can imagine this attitude not only creates friction at home but his poor friends and teachers have and will also encounter it.
OK, so I understand my kid a little better, now what do I do about it? From what I can tell the only thing to do is to hang on for the ride and be persistent. It's exhausting and there are daily battles, I actually didn't know that there are actually some parents some parents who don't have several power struggles incorporated into their day everyday, such a life seems pretty alien to me. As parents Aaron and I have goals for our children we want to instill in them values which we have decided are important. This is the general job description for a parent but it appears that if you have a strong willed child the only thing to do is keep pounding against that rock hard personality of your child because the consequences of not doing so are much worse than the daily grinding battle that wears on a family.
I am so thankful for this new and wonderful insight and for the fact that we have a huge family support network. Our parents live in our town and they are wonderful about taking at least 1 child every single weekend for us. It may seem like a lot to some people but this is our saving grace. Without this bit of relief to gather ourselves and reset our hearts and minds I think the strain on our family and on our marriage would be much greater. God gave us these children to raise up and it gives me some comfort that at least he knew what he was giving us.
The light at the end of the tunnel for me is that Cole's will is SO strong and think of what a warrior he will be if he uses his will for God rather than against the world. This is my motivation and this is what really gets me through even the most trying days. I have seen what happens when Cole intercedes in prayer for people including our whole family and a certain 50mph head on collision that we all walked away from. I have seen the great things that he does when he is allowed to put his strong mind to work and I know that in the end it will all be worth it. I also know that these are all easy things to say right now because Cole is at his grandparents as I write this. I know that I need an almost daily reminder by midday to keep my own heart and mind in the right place as I butt heads with him for the 100th time.
If you don't have a child like this then I hope you now have some insight into our daily lives and that before you form well meaning opinions of us you now have some understanding. If you have a child like Cole all I can say is from one parent to another; hang in there and be encouraged that God knew what he was giving you and you can do this through him. It's all worth it!